it dissolved and coursed throughout my bloodstream. i felt like i was walking underwater, the anger and the sadness that constantly loomed over me vanished before i could put a finger on where they'd gone. my demons were silent and i felt like the ocean. the feeling was strong yet subtle, like i was being embraced in a warm, ongoing hug. no one specific emotion overtook me, i was more at peace than i'd probably ever been in my entire life. this was the feeling i'd been searching for.
expectations are funny. it's almost impossible to not have any. they're either high or low. but if you've been let down by someone enough, expectations seem to trickle away completely. nothing they do surprises you, because it's merely a rendition of their behaviour from a thousand times before. you're hope for them to be better escapes with every beat your heart skips each time you realize what's happening. then you come to the gut wrenching realization that your faith was placed wrongly. they never had any plans on changing from the beginning. they never cared to.
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